Against All Odds... The Reflection


          It's truly a beautiful thing to have the opportunity to reflect. You have the chance to correct mistakes that you might have made, and you're able to remember the things you never want to forget. I'm not one to have a new years resolution, but if there is one thing I'm working on doing, it's becoming a better person for myself, and a better partner for Marc. This morning I took my time scrolling through many pictures, and I tried to remember what I felt in those moments. For some pictures I was reminded of the hurt Marc and I had been causing each other, and other pictures reminded me of the hope I never let go of. It's crazy to think of where we are today after looking at how crazy our past had been. If anyone knew what we were like the past several years, you're probably wondering, "How in the world did they make it this far?" Well, it was not easy. I remember learning in one of my classes that for every 1 bad incident between your partner and you, you need 5 good things to happen to make up for it. So even though we may have had about 50 horrible moments, in no way, does that take away from the 250 amazing moments we've had together. Of all the pictures, one stood out to me. It was when Marc bought a dog for his dad. Prior to Marc buying that dog, Marc and I had only been talking for about 3 days after a semester long break from each other. 
          Of all the vulnerable moments we've had together, that was one of the hardest to jump back from. We had never gone that long without speaking to each other. Naturally, when he told me he got the dog, I used the dog as an excuse to see Marc. We were both hurt and our wounds were very much still open. But what we both were in that moment was genuine. Neither of us were too eager to be back in each others lives, and yet, at least from my side, I was at the same time. We slowly got back into a good space, and at the time, I would've said it was a miracle. Now looking back, it just shows me how strong we both really are. That wasn't the last time we had recovered from a giant mess, but it was definitely a turning point for us. It's so easy for us to remember the moments when we were hurt, and for some reason, so difficult to remember the times when we hurt our partner. When we hurt others, the first thing out of most people's mouth is, "Well I did this because you did...." Prime example of proving we're not reflecting, the sad thing is, I can recall about 50+ times I've said that same exact line. No more using my pain as an excuse to hurt the one I love. I will continue to reflect on every situation, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I refuse to be the single beneficiary of a change in lifestyle. My life is no longer for one, and I will show that I understand that through the actions I take.

With love always,
Becca Colón

P.s. Who knew reflection could be so deep?

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