Zero Sum Game


No, relationships are not a game, I'm just taking a dive into something I think Marc would appreciate. This is to all the cynical people who are doubtful of relationships and believe you cannot have a truly happy relationship. So, I'll break it down, hopefully my little bits of research, and Marc's explanation serve me well for this moment. But a zero sum game is either one of two things that has to do with two or more parties. First thing, either one party wins at the expense of another's loss. You would think, eh yeah that's pretty much how it goes. Or second, neither party wins nor loses. Which doesn't sound very helpful either.
Now I'll put that into relationship words. The point of a long lasting relationship is for individuals to grow together, correct? Not for one or the other to get ahead at their partners expense. If I'm constantly putting Marc down for my own benefit, that's not a happy or healthy relationship. Of course that relationship wouldn't work. The whole thing would be based off of one person growing at a time, and that's not how to build a relationship, it's all about teamwork. So, we have the first part checked off, now let's explain why the second part doesn't work either. Now you're probably thinking, if neither is winning or losing, that can't be a completely bad thing. I'll tell you why it doesn't work. Why do you choose one specific person out of the 7 billion people who live on this world? Because they give you something that the rest couldn't. You are gaining something by choosing to be in a relationship with them. Maybe it is that you are gaining comfort, or stability, or even happiness. You're getting something out of it For it not to be a zero sum game, you both have to be gaining something though. If there is no gain to a relationship neither party would be a part of it. And if they get into a relationship and there is no benefit for them, then why are they really there? Think about that. If you are not gaining or losing anything from someone, then you could be in a relationship with anyone, because growing together wouldn't matter. Can you be in a relationship with just anyone? Like I said before, the point of a relationship is to grow and gain something together, and that is a joyful loving life.
So, if you think and still believe love and relationships are truly a zero sum game, continue to try to figure out why? Do you really believe either one wins at the expense of another's loss? Or do you feel like neither of you are gaining anything from being together? If not, then maybe that specific relationship isn't right. Because I can give you an example first-hand through my own relationship. Marc and I are constantly growing together. We may have our bumps in the road where one of us gets a little snappy at the other, or when we're just stuck at a stand still, but majority of the time, we are growing. And that is the point of our relationship. Once again like Marc says to me all the time, it's not about the situation itself, but how it's dealt with is what matters.

With love always,
Becca

P.s. How did I do?

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